Who the Hell Buys This Stuff?

When I have to go into the office or to the client, I have a fairly long trek up the Schuykill Expressway, aka The Philly Autobahn of Bad Drivers and Impending Death. To make through this automotive running of the bulls, I of course listen to the radio. Nine times out ten, it’s WXPN (which has no commercials), but sometimes I happen onto other stations for some variety, such as sports talk or traffic. When on these stations, I have heard some rather disturbing commercials lately.

The first was an ad for 1-800-DNA-TEST, a company that will collect your DNA and provide you with definitive evidence of whether you are the father of that baby or not. Do we really have enough people wondering about this to make it viable? If so, … well, damn boy – zip it up or get make some decent records, like maybe Excel.

More recently, I heard something that just reeks of predatory lending. The ad starts off with this long disclaimer and then shoots out “If you are paying more than 1 1/4% on your mortgage, you’re paying too much!” It then gives all of these wonderful numbers that sound great – unless you listened carefully at the beginning and to the quickly added details within the ad. First of all, the 1.25% is the payment rate, which is less than the minimum 4.99% interest rate – so if you just pay the ‘payment rate’, you’d be paying less than a third of the interest accruing, amounting to modern-day loan sharking. What’s more, the ad mentions that the rate given is only guaranteed for the first payment, and not even then – it can change at closing (hmm, wonder how often THAT happens?). From there, they can raise it monthly – not just when the rates change, like a variable rate mortgage, but basically when they feel like it.

This sounds like such a scam – people desperate for lower payments take this and end up losing everything once the small print kicks in. Out of curiosity, I went to find their website – and lo and behold, it isn’t available. Go figure. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t for a second ad that I heard from what I thought was a reputable local bank that offered an interest only rate of 3.4%, regardless of your interest – and that rate can go up every 6 months. It’s really scary that there are these lenders out there … and that it’s legal.

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