Archive for the 'favs' Category

2006 is dead, long live 2007!

Marty January 2nd, 2007

Well, last year was a long one - so many changes have happened that it’s hard to look back and remember them now. But the highlights (and lowlights):

  • I switched jobs - twice. First, I went from being a consultant to a full-timer at GSI Commerce for 9 months. And in the last month of the year, I started another new position at Medical Broadcasting Company in Philadelphia - a promotion, more money and a (thankfully) much shorter commute into the city.
  • My wife went through 9 months of recovery from Lyme Disease and the resulting complications. She’s better now, but it’s been a tough year - and looks like she’s recovered again.
  • Our menagerie of pets went from 3 crazy pets to 4 crazy and broken pets after we added our new cat, Jazz.
  • My nephew - my sister’s first - turned 1, and is bright, cheerful and as hyperactive as I was when I was his age. Oh, she’s paying now for all of those mean things she did to me…
  • Penn State had another good season (9-4), and won their bowl game against Tennessee. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to go up to my alma mater this year.
  • I finally got a little better at poker. After winning a tournament two years ago, I had a string of bad luck - and bad playing. This year, I didn’t get to play as often as I’d liked, but I was managing to win quite a few months - $40 stakes paying off $110, 125 and $160 on different occasions.
  • I donated a bunch of images to the Philadelphia Zoo (which they’ve used on signage and mailings), the Calgary Zoo (this image will be used by the Calgary Zoo for a zoo + promotional materials) and a CPAWS magazine article. Not too bad - now I just need to sell some.
  • My birding life list crept over 250 this year, from about a little over 200 a year ago. I also got into butterflies (and moths) and dragonflies this year, getting my lists for those up to over 50/25, respectively. And we’re planning a trip to Texas in a couple of months, so I hope to be adding a lot of new stuff to my record - AND my photo lifelist.
  • My photography improved - in part because of my new Nikon D200 camera and Nikon VR 80-400mm f/5.6 lens. Among my best shots for the year:
    I'm Ready for My Close-Up, Now Blue in Green Very Cool, Despite the Name* Look into my eyes...
    Raptor* Catbird in the Mist American Lady (Could Be a Dude) Catch the Rainbow
    Not even a posing fee Stare of a Predator Being Coy Artsy Marty
    All the other jays think I'm nuts Glory is a Sunbeam

    See the original posts on my Flickr account.

Darth Gnarls

Marty June 9th, 2006

This is hysterical - Gnarls Barkley and his entourage put on a STAR WARS show at the MTV Movie Awards.

What is the World Coming To?

Marty March 21st, 2005

A Litany of Rants

Rant #1
The world is going nuts. I can’t believe some of the stuff that I am seeing out there that makes me shake my head and cringe. First and foremost has to be the Terri Schiavo case. I can’t believe the way that this woman’s life has become a chess piece for political action related to religious morality. Do I think she should be let to die? I’m not sure - if she said she didn’t want to be in this state, then she should be allowed to have her wishes honored. Unfortunately, nothing in writing makes that hard to prove. Is she in a vegetative state or does she have limited reaction? I would lean toward the former, since people in that state CAN respond to stimuly - but not consciously. I think her smiles and such are mere reactions to voices without any sentient/cognitive thought behind them. I know that I wouldn’t want to be left in that state. At the same time, it would be hard for me to actually starve someone that I love to death. If it was life-support, it’s easy - they wouldn’t be alive without it. But a feeding tube seems more like assistance than support. To watch someone starve over a period of weeks would be tough to watch, no matter how much I knew that my wife/mother/sister/friend wanted it that way.

But the biggest asshat move is having Congress legislate over this. Congress’ job is to pass laws for THE PEOPLE, not THE PERSON. They aren’t supposed to create an end-around to get past judicial process, but that is just what they are doing. If they think it’s wrong, they should write a law to handle cases like these in the future - like they did for Megan’s Law - but to step in - and on normal Judicial process - tramples over the separation of the 3 government branches for what becomes a moral judgement over - and this was said several times by Reverend DeLay - “a right to life issue”. To subpoena her for a congressional hearing was nothing more than a back-handed way to ignore the judges decree - and is something that no one save for the Supreme Court should have been allowed to do.

More and more I see this administration warp or ignore elements of the constitution and common sense to achieve their quasi-religious agenda (or their pro-crony agenda, in some cases). It sickens me that so many people in our legislative branch thought themselves as having the right to overrule the courts and a woman’s own desires to support their own moral objectives. Listen, Delay, if it’s YOUR mom, go right ahead. But keep your hands off of my family and our wishes. Keep them off when we make a decision about our bodies when we are living and when we are dying.

Rant #2
Another photographer that I follow recently took a picture of a park in Erie County, NY that has been closed to the public. According to him,

“After getting the sales tax increase shot down (we are at 8 ¼% and they wanted to raise it to 9 ¼%) Erie County Closed all the parks to strong arm the public! Let me just point out that the park workers are still employed and working in the parks…there is just no public access…”

.

What? What the heck is going on where we are paying a percentage of our hard-earned money to our government, and they do this to the spaces that we are supposed to have. Now, I don’t know about Erie County, but I know where I live, a percentage of our taxes are earmarked for “Open Space”, so if that happened here, you know that I would be going ape shit on these people. Hopefully Dave will do the same - I know that he’s angry but I don’t know how close he is to really make a stink.

Where do our politicians get off in penalizing us for not allowing us to raise taxes?

Rant #3
ANWR. It’s a term that is sure to evoke strong feelings in a lot of people. I’m a strident environmentalist, and I’ll admit that I tend to lean toward the environment over business in most cases. I’d love to say that I’m 100% justified because corporations have a long-standing history of saying that they’ll do the right thing until the right thing affects the money thing - then promises get left behind. So, when the oil industry throws around promises of ’small footprints’ and ‘leaving no trace’, I cringe. So did many others - which is why every piece of legislation devoted to opening up ANWR to drilling has been defeated.

So, what do those crafty politicians do? They merely do an end around, attaching a small rider for ANWR drilling onto the 2005 budget. What? Don’t want that rider - well, then you need to vote against the budget, vote against giving Americans more tax cuts and letting our government do its job, right? In essense, the Republicans and other ‘bought-vote’ senators have realized that they can never get the vote through the more legal methods, so they are sticking it up our asses in other ways instead. The vote on 3/16 basically rejected the attempt to remove that piece of legislation from the budget, and if the budget gets approved, the oil interests will be able to start drilling.

Once again, the debate will start, but this is what it comes down to - with oil prices sky-rocketing, instead of looking to jump-start renewable or sustainable energy sources, Bush and Clowns, LLC will cater to oil interests for what will amount to a short-term solution AT BEST. First of all, by the time they find the oil, it will be years before we can get to it. Second, we don’t know (and environmentalists and industry reps are very far apart on) how much oil there really is. Last, the oil industry has a horrid history of leaving ’small footprints’ where they’ve been.

They say that they will only need small drilling sites that won’t disrupt the caribou and other wildlife - that they only need 2,000 of the 1.5M acres of ANWR (total space 19M acres) that would be opened up. But as TIME pointed out, the oil industry is only counting the actual square footage that the equipment is physically sitting on - not the space under pipes going between sites, the roads going back and forth, or even the housing for the workers. As the article states:

“It may be. Turns out the 2,000 acres don’t have to be contiguous and only the space of the equipment touching the ground is counted. Each drilling platform can take up as little as 10 acres. The pipelines are above ground. For space purposes, the amendment counts only the ground touched by the stanchions holding up the pipe. Road widths also are conveniently left out of the space limit. “It’s a complete sham,” complains Allen Mattison, a spokesman for the Sierra Club which opposes drilling. “It’s like a fishing net. If you count just the space of the string’s width, that’s small. But if you open up a fishing net and count the area it covers, that’s much larger.” Environmentalists complain that the House limit ends up allowing oil companies to spread out over practically the entire 1.5 million acres.”

Worse, they’ve said that they will be able to clean it up once they are done, leaving the land in the same condition they found it. And we’re supposed to believe that based on coal industry and natural gas industry claims to the same effect (not to mention the oil industry). In their history, this industry has been notorious for coming in, doing the damage and then walking away scot-free while the environment and those who live nearby suffer the repercussions for decades. Why would it be any different here?

It’s a sham, and it’s going on because Bush and the rest of the corrupt administration are more concerned with keeping oil and energy cronies happy than protecting our environment. So they get rich, America’s cars continue to suck up gas, and in 20 years, we’ll be no better than we are now - well, maybe we will. When the gas runs out, we’ll HAVE TO walk.

You Know You’re a Dumbass When…

Marty January 31st, 2005

After being cut off again by some moron on a cell phone, and dealing with the innumerable drones that walk around this great land and commenting on it, my wife told me that I really had a stick up my ass the other day. Maybe I did - I’m not sure. I was edgy, I was irritated and I was looking at everyone around me with a narrow view and acerbic attitude. And it made me think, was I being too tough, or were there really people out there who really deserve some sort of tagging showing off that they are indeed, a dumbass.

I’m not sure if it would be a tattoo, or as Bill Engvall says, we should give them a sign. Maybe they don’t know that they are dumbasses (or asshats, as I picked up when in mixed company). Are they? Are you? Well, thinking about it, I came up with some signs that you or someone you know might just be … a dumbass.

I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT YOU’RE A DUMBASS IF…

  • You drive around for 15 minutes or more looking for a parking space, instead of walking the extra 50′ from the one you keep passing up. note: exemptions - the disabled, elderly or pregnant mothers
  • You sell something new on eBay as “New in Box” but never actually look in the box you picked up at a garage sale actually was new - or had all of the parts.
  • You try to commit suicide 3 times and fail, and on your 4th try you chicken out - but manage to kill a dozen others with your carelessness.
  • You feed your kids fast food 5x a week - and then sue those same restaurants for making them fat.
  • You’ve ever believed a woman who said ‘You don’t have to get me anything’ for any holiday - real, Hallmark or imagined.
  • Ever had a hospital visit where the entrance report includes both “genitals” and “power tool(s)” somewhere in the description.
  • You’ve ever read the warning labels like “Do not place bag over head” or “Do not use toaster while bathing” and thought ‘Well, shit - now they tell me.’
  • You fold hole aces when you are big blind in Texas Hold ‘em poker
  • You claim that your wife is missing, and promptly start selling her stuff.
  • Your new killer website design you are touting your design skills on still includes the original notes from the person who actually designed. BTW, this is a double - you’re also a dumbass for stealing in the first place.
  • You use your own deposit slip as the hold-up note.
  • You feel the need to stop your vehicle in order to make a turn or use an exit ramp.
  • You feel that your own morals should dictate everyone else’s ability to watch TV, listen to music, see a film or read a book.
  • You feel that having a film, TV show, book or music banned for your own moral code makes more sense than you simply not watching them in the first place
  • A diet coke to go with that large ‘works’ pizza constitutes ‘watching your weight’.
  • You have a mullet. Don’t argue - it’s a fact.
  • You couldn’t manage to hit the inside of the urinal but thought driving home was a sound idea.
  • You have ever chastised someone about not getting a project done when that project was assigned to you. (yes, that happened to me)
  • You believe that Bill Gates, Disney or AOL will give you ANYTHING for forwarding an email. It’s a hoax - period. Stop sending them to me.
  • The idea of alcohol, lighters and explosives seem like a good combination.
  • You have rubbed food on your body to attract wild animals.
  • You are Kirstie Alley, Gilbert Godfried or Paul Schaeffer.
  • You have cheated on Hally Berry, Nicole Kidman or Hillary (Hell hath no fury on that last one).
  • You got into a car accident because you dropped your crack pipe while driving - with your knees
  • You have detailed intimate discussions/arguments with your boyfriend at a volume that everyone around you can hear them, daily. Vividly. Whether they want to or not.
  • You complain to your manager at the restaurant about what an asshat the customer is - well within earshot of said customer.
  • Feel that a steady diet of fat and meat will make up for the lack of exercise of your sedentary butt.
  • You are too lazy to shovel the walk in front of your house - the sidewalk that is only 2 blocks from the local school.
  • You actually believe that the hot Russian coed you are chatting with is actually hot. Or Russian. Or a girl.
  • You feel that protesting a piece of art is appropriate - even if you haven’t seen/heard/read a bit of it.

I welcome additions to this list. I’ll keep doing the same.

What Would YOU Do With $50M

Marty January 24th, 2005

Okay, the guy won the election and deserves to have his inauguration and inaugural ball. That’s fine. But doesn’t anyone in his administration see ANYTHING wrong with spending over $50 million for this thing? I’ve been laying off ol’ Dubya for a bit now, although he has done nothing to make me feel any more comfortable with him winning in November. In fact, I’ve only seen more of the same and that scares me.

But this is just ludicrous. FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS. Think about it - this is the same administration that only committed $10 million to the Tsunami relief at first, but had $40 million ear-marked for a party for lobbyists, politicians and the well-connected (yes, I know that they have donated a bunch more - but impressions still count). I can think of a hundred things that it would be better spent on. Sure, go ahead and blow a cool million on your party - I still think that’s a bit much but if you are hosting dignataries from around the world, at least it is somewhat understandable. But $50M? What about our troops and their need for supplies? What about the cuts to funding for urban renewal projects? What about the budget shortfall of the Park Service? What about kicking some of that money into alternative fuel development research.

No, it’s obviously better spent providing entertainment and dinner to the people who supported the President in his bid to further screw up this country. But let’s just say MAYBE we had ear-marked it for something else. What else could $50 million have got us?

  • It could give the Forest Service the $12M they need to meet their budget, and still have enough to fund energy research to the tune of $38M
  • It could provide food and shelter for $1.78M homeless people in the U.S. (Lewin Group Report, 11/19/04)
  • It could buy more than 100,000 kevlar body armor vests for our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan (based on an estimated $500 per vest).
  • It could pay to hire 900 new police officers for cities around the country (based on average pay of $55,613 - U.S. Census Bureau, March 2003) or for 1,377 new firefighters at an average salary of $36,309 (source: Salary.com)
  • It could provide $1.67 to every poverty-level individual in the U.S. (source: U.S. Census)
  • It could pay for 75% of the additional fire-fighting equipment requested by the Forest Service to fight the wildfires it has seen increase every year since 2000.
  • It could give 600 Enron employees back their average losses ($83,300, according to IBEW.com) or give all of the 12,000 employees $4167 of lost money back. After all, how much of that money came from Kenneth Lay, Dubya’s #1 contributor for his first campaign?

Don’t those all sound like better causes than a big party for a moron?

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Mummer’s Parade

Marty January 3rd, 2005

For New Years, I did something that I have only joked about in the past - I went to the Mummer’s Parade.

I wouldn’t have gone except for the fact that my brother-in-law, nieces and nephew were all involved with the B. Love comedy troop, so we had to go visit and see what this was all about. Well, I have to admit, it was a lot of fun.

As usual, we were a little late and they were already working their way up Broad St. when we got there. A few hasty photographs and then we had to rush to get to the judging area in front of them. Of course, the judging stand was crowded and I never really got to see them there, so I’m thankful for the pictures I got before then. The troop looked like they were all having a great time, and they eventually placed 2nd in the Comedy Group of the Comedy Division. Not too bad.

Hanging out with them after they were finished allowed my wife, son and mother-in-law to go see more of the parade as we went from bar to bar in the South Philly area. Fado’s, Copa Too! and of course Ray’s Tavern were all stops along the way, as was the parade route to see the string bands as we headed back to their staging area. The weather was gorgeous (Jan. 1 and 60+ degrees), and walking around the city was a lot of fun. I got some great Mummers shots as well as quite a few good shots of the city itself. I haven’t gotten them uploaded, but I’ll update this post when I do.

Here are the pictures of those Mummer folks:

Marshall the Pimp Daddy Mummer Cassidy, Kyla and Lexi at Fado mummers_08_mickcass

to see more of B. Love, click here.

More more general Mummer’s pictures, visit my flickr set.

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‘Tis the Season

Marty December 22nd, 2004

I am so looking forward to this holiday - family squabbles notwithstanding. It’s nice to be able to break the budget on what we’re spending and not feel completely guilty. It’s fun to make cookies and other treats to give out to neighbors, friends and family. It’s been fun to joke with my wife and son about what they think they are getting, what they assume they are getting and what they actually are getting (coal and socks, respectively, by the way). Seriously, I’ve never seen my wife this way - actually trying to figure out what is in the boxes. Usually, that’s me.

Last weekend, I got to see my old friend Chris and a large portion of his family. He, his wife, his sister and sister-in-law all met Shari and I down at Ludwig’s Garten in Philly. I forgot how much I liked that place, but quickly remembered with a flight of Belgian ales and a second flight of holiday beers (including a very strong Samichlaus and a delicious Delerium Noel. The jaegerschnitzel was delicious, although I think that their prices have gone up significantly since the last time that I ate there. But aside from the food and the beer, it was great to see Chris and his clan again - they are great people and it was nice to see Chris home safely from the war.

But back to Christmas - I’m looking so forward to Xmas morning: our new puppy having his first Xmas (and first pig’s ears). The look on my wife’s face when she finally figures out how right or wrong she was about those gifts (hint: it’s not a blender). The fact that I got at least one good gadget off of my tech geek list (when I thought about it, my ‘wishlist’ was an iPod, a 17″ LCD monitor, TiVO, a PDA and a new Wacom pad - how geek can you get?). The fire in the background as we slowly wake up with hot cider. Too bad we aren’t going to have snow, although I have thought about grinding up some ice to put on the sill of the front bay window for effect…

Meanwhile, there’s baking to be done, a few gifts to be wrapped and I’m loving every minute of it. And that’s what Xmas is about, right?

Shameful Displays

Marty December 10th, 2004

This weekend was a disgrace to the world of sports. Now, I’m not a huge NBA fan (as can be evidenced by my record in my fantasy Basketball league), but I’ll keep up with it during my daily perusal of the sports page. I’ve known of Ron Artest for a while - ever since Dennis Rodman left, Artest has taken it upon himself to be the next Bad Boy of the NBA (Kobe notwithstanding). His latest lunacy - wanting a month off to rest (5 days into the season) and promote his album was almost unbelievable. But his latest actions are beyond even that - and inexcusable.

To go after a fan in the stands - and the wrong fan, at that - is just asking for trouble. He’s a loose cannon who is making those around him behave in similar out-of-control ways. Not that Stephen Jackson and Jermaine O’Neal are choir boys, but I can’t think that they would have gone to that extreme without the bad influence of Artest on that team.

Was the NBA’s punishment harsh enough? In my opinion, yes and no. I think that Artest’s fits the crime, although I also would have understood him being thrown out of the league for good until he made an effort to reform (psychiatric help, anger management, church intervention, whatever). But I think that losing his whole salary will send a message to him and the rest of the league. Sure, he’ll have more time to promote his album and spend time with his kids (can you imagine the conversation with them about why Daddy was home all year?), but the impact to his bottom line is going to sting. Even worse is the sting that multiple lawsuits are going to do to his bank account.For Jackson and O’Neal, I think that the punishment is close although I wonder if perhaps season-long suspensions might have been justified for them as well. After all, BOTH of them participated in unprovoked attacks on fans. Sure, if Artest hadn’t over-reacted they would have never been in the stands ‘getting his back’. But they went into the stands and like Artest, hit the wrong people. In fact, O’Neal’s flying fisticuffs against someone trying to break up the fight are going to end up getting him in legal and criminal trouble. And those lawsuits are going to hurt them, too.

Man, those wallet-crushing settlements are going to leave a mark. So, too, will any criminal charges against at least 4 of those players. Whether any of them ever go to trial remains to be seen, but if the police and league are serious, they’ll make the charges and at least start the process. That isn’t to say that the fans are innocent here. In fact, several of them should be sitting in the jail WITH the NBA players - and face the same charges for their actions. Whomever threw that chair into the walkway deserves aggravated assault charges added to the list. The list will be long but far from complete, to be sure.

And the encore performance came from Lou Holtz’s last game at the University of South Carolina in a hotly-tested rivalry vs. Clemson. The pre-game antics should have been warning enough to get more security personnel ready for something after the game. That’s the security’s fault for not being prepared. But the way that both teams acted was ridiculous. Now, I’ve never been a Lou Holtz fan - but at least I think the guy knows how to play the game fairly. To see his team act that way was more akin to a Bowden team than a Holtz team. As for the players, I would hope that the university will stay out of the way of the police as they search out and charge ALL of the players involved - particularly those who ignored or threatened police and other peacemakers. How to punish the players? My suggestion - which will no doubt fall upon deaf ears - would be for the AD’s of both teams to pull their teams from any bowl contention this year. Take away that award for their efforts for the year - they obviously can’t behave themselves and should pay for it.

“But what about the players who worked so hard and didn’t get involved…”. Well, I don’t remember too many players sitting on the sidelines - it appeared that most - if not all - were out in the melee, thus making them all culpable. So, they should all pay for it by losing a chance to party at a bowl game. I mean, once the suspensions to the starters are handed out, who’s going to be left to play (that is, if the schools have the balls to actually suspend the main aggravators). But we all know the way that it will turn out - because of the paydays involved, a token set of players (most likely back-ups) will be suspended and the teams will go to the bowls. It’s a sick system, and no one will stand up against it.It makes me sad that you can punch a coach or a fan, or throw a cop aside and get suspended for a year (less once the union gets involved, probably) but bet on your sport and you’re gone for life or get caught with drugs SEVEN times and still get to play. Sad, sad, sad.

UPDATE I guess I was wrong - and right. Both Clemson and South Carolina have said that they will turn down any bowl bids because of Saturday’s brawl. I, like writer Pat Forde, think that they made the right decision.

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A Hole-in-the-Wall, Mummers and Cheesesteaks

Marty December 6th, 2004

There is something to be said for a hole-in-the-wall bar. It might not have the best beers, and it might not have the MTV Real World cast and it might not have pollo fri diablo on the menu, but there is an honesty to it. I got experience this on Friday night when my wife and I went out with her brother into Philly. After a delicious dinner at Dmitri’s, we were going to meet up with his Mummers’ troop at a local pub. Yes, I went to a Mummer’s meeting, for which I’m sure I’ll hear about from several people.

The place - Ray’s Tavern on 8th and Federal, near the Italian Market. Now, there are some bars that are local places and there are some bars that are LOCALS places - Ray’s is definitely the latter. I’m a beer snob, so walking into a place that offers Pabst Blue Ribbon on tap usually doesn’t happen. But after a few minutes, I figured what the hell - and it was worth it. Ray’s makes up for in comfort what it doesn’t have in beer selections - the bartender was a genuinely friendly guy who took care of the whole group as though they were family, and Annabelle, the portly English bulldog, patrolled the bar and the backroom like a friendly sentinel. Scratch her back and you had a friend for life.

I probably would never had gone into this place if it hadn’t been for Mick, but I’m glad that I did. I got to see a different side of most of Shari’s old friends - including golden “Bo Peep” dresses, conversations about sparking nipple clips and a straight man talking about using “silver lamè″ on their outfits. Beat that night out, folks. But more than that, I got to see the inner workings of what really goes on with the Mummers - as an outsider looking in, but still a good look. Granted, this was the beginnings of this year’s extravaganzas, but it was interesting enough to get me interested. No, you won’t see me walking down Broad St. carrying a golden parasol anytime soon, but you will probably see me on the sidelines this year (as long as the weather holds - I’m still a fairweather zealot, after all).

The night also provided the best opportunity for me to get to know my brother-in-law better. We’d had the typical family conversations at the parties, but only once had gotten to hang out before - and that was in a loud, dark bar, so conversation was limited. This time, I got to know Mick better. It helps that we escaped from my wife’s clutches at the bar to walk the short block to Geno’s Steaks for a provolone without. There’s something about sharing a cheesesteak over a PBR in a dark bar that makes for camaraderie. Too bad he wouldn’t play darts later at the Dark Horse - but I did hit my best throw of darts ever - 2 double bulls and a single bull. That’s 125 points in cricket, folks. Awesome.

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Pets are Strange People

Marty October 4th, 2004

Twas an interesting weekend - two pets provided for a host of laughs. First, the dog, who discovered that bringing us things makes us happy - so we spent most of Sunday getting slippers, clothes, remotes and anything else that wasn’t tied down brought to us by a very happy puppy. He also discovered the joys of doing tricks outside. We want to eventually enter him into rallies (dog competitions which highlight skills and agility rather than plain looks), so we started giving him some easy tasks. The guy loves running through the ladder, crawling through the tube and jumping over the poles we set out. I can’t wait until he’s really ready to compete - or at least run through a true AKC course.Friday night, the cat provided the entertainment.

Miko, our tabby, is known for zany stunts: she’ll chase you for Whiskas treats, and has gotten her head stuck in a glass while trying to get to the beer. But Friday night was her coup de grace. When I’m washing up for bed, she’s been known to jump up to the sin to watch, usually via the toilet. This time, when she leapt up, she discovered that someone (namely, me) had accidentally left the seat up. With a startled look, she jumped up as normal, and into the bowl she went.

***SPLASH***

In an instant, she leapt straight up, a la Luke Skywalker jumping out of the carbon freezing chamber, shrieking in horror at this change in plans. As my wife looked on, she tore out of the bathroom, horrified by her little swim. Watching a small cat fall into the toilet was something that you never think you’ll see, but my wife and I were literally staggering with laughter (don’t worry, it was clean). The cat was not amused. Despite her “I’ll kill you while you sleep” look, we had to laugh. In retaliation, she did leave toilet water paw prints all over the comforter cover.

**Other Fun Stuff**
While out on the town in Philly the other night, we made a stop at New Delhi for some dinner (umm, Tikka Masala), then went out to The Artful Dodger for some drinks. We haven’t been there in quite a while, so it was fun to go back to an old haunt. While there, I discovered a wonderful invention.

Where can I order my lifetime supply of pee tags?

Now, what I want to know is … where can I get one of these for the remote control?

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