Patriarch I’ve been really busy lately, and I have been meaning to write about a lot of things – product reviews, movies, what I’ve been doing (and not doing), etc. But it’s a worrying event that got me to stop working enough to write. My grandfather is in the hospital again, and it’s not looking good. He’s stable, but it appears he might have had a TIA (minor stroke) – he’s confused some of the time, forgetting people and where he is and he sounds horrible. Shari and I are going to see him tonight, but things aren’t sounding good.

I’ve written about my grandfather before, the curmudgeonly patriarch of the family that seemed timeless in his rascability and stories of the past (“I never went to college, but that doesn’t make me a dumb man – I still think I’m the smartest of all of ya, ’cause I’m happy and not stressed”), but lately he’s seemed more frail and tired. Worse, it seems to have advanced fairly rapidly – not only does he not look or sound as good as he has, but he’s living more and more in the past. Not Alzheimer’s really, but more of a going back to when he was a full, vital man and not the frail elderly guy he is now.

I’m worried about him – he’s joked in the past that he’s lived longer than many people hoped he would (he’s kidding), but this incident has him talking about wanting to get out of the hospital because he wants to die in his own bed. I’ve never heard that type of talk from him, and I just hope that it doesn’t mean that he’s given up. He’s got some more good years in him, and I selfishly want to see him use them all.


3 Responses to “Worry.

  • this might just be the codeine talking after the wisdom teeth getting pulled, but what the heck, let’s get married

    oh wait, this is Marty’s blog… whoa, sorry ’bout that.

  • I know it’s hard think of the idea that you might lose someone who has been a backbone of your family. My grandpa wanted to go home; he hated the two weeks he spent in the hospital and he was terrified of living in a nursing home. He never talked about dying, but he definitely wanted to be at home. Sometimes that’s possible, sometimes it isn’t. Mostly I think the wanting-to-be-home thing is just looking for familiarity and comfort; he can find that in visits from family too. I hope you get a chance to spend some more good time with him, but know that even if you had another 30 years with him around, it would never be enough. I still miss Poppo every day. You and your grandpa are in my thoughts, and may we all make the most of the time we have.

  • Van, you really worry me, man.

    Sarah – thank you for your kind thoughts. You’re right: people can only take my grandfather in short doses but 30 years of short doses would still be too few. Luckily, he looked a lot better last night – see my update.

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