Greedy Bastards

Is it me, or do all of these sports stars in this country simply need a huge kick in the ass? I keep hearing about poor old Terrell “S.O.B.” Owens and the fact that the big, bad Eagles won’t renegotiate his 6-year contract after ONE YEAR. Yep, complete 1/6 of what you are signed to do, and then start begging for a raise – and throw a tantrum if they won’t give it to you. What’s worse is that his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, has the gall to make it sound like the Eagles are being completely unreasonable in the situation. Amid Terrell’s Sprewell-like “how will I feed my family” gripes, it’s gotten too much.

If I were Jeffrey Laurie, here’s what I would say: “Terrell – get the fuck out. Leave. See ya – don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Oh, but don’t expect to get paid – this year. Next year. Or any of the remaining years on your contract. Feel free to come back and play football at any time, but until your contract is up, you’re OURS. We aren’t going to trade you, and we don’t have to pay you if you don’t show up to play. We’ll take the roster spot hit, but for the next 5 years, you aren’t going anywhere else.

“What do you think your market value will be after not playing for 5 years, Terrell?”

Unfortunately, Laurie won’t do it. No one will – the leagues are full of wimpy owners and unions that make any form of responsibility for signing on the dotted line almost nil, and treat these players as though every infraction was either the ‘other guy’ or should be treated like a parking ticket, even when someone gets hurt. Kenny Rogers (MLB)? Suspend him for the season – get tough, baseball: oh wait, your union dictates any and all terms, don’t they? Alexander Daigle – don’t want to play after signing your huge contract with a struggling (financially) franchise? Good – we’ll sell tickets to let the fans beat you then instead.

Face it, Mr. Pro Athlete – with no apologies to Jeremy Roenick – you are playing a game. You are getting paid millions of dollars to play a fucking game. Am I jealous? Sure I am – I work just as hard and get paid nothing compared to you. But does it make you a superhero – no. You and every other athlete are being paid to produce; you sign a contract just like many people do and you should have to own up to it. Don’t produce or do something that would get you fired from any corporation in America – see you.

Don’t get me wrong, the owners are no angels by any means. But a contract is a contract – it was bright and shiny enough to sign it in the first place, so get off of your lazy, whiny ass and do your job. If you don’t, plan on being extremely underpaid until your contract is up, because if I was the owner, I would hold you to every letter of that deal until it expired, and I would NEVER give in with a renegotiation, a trade or a waiver.

Let’s see you feed your family then, Terrell, you asshat.